Daddy, How can I forget….

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 Daddy, How can I forget….

Come to me once, at least for an hour, I will never ask you again.
Lots and lots to remind you, confront you.
Have you come!!!! Imagine!!
My head on your laps and my hand in your hands.
Chatty and gabby, nonstop flow of tears and words.
The small things, silly things and intense emotional things in our lives.
End of the hour, a peaceful me, flying high in the sky .
How can I forget the intimacy between us?
How can I forget myself over-confidently waiting for your laud in every activity of mine?
How can I forget myself creating drama, waiting for your support when I fight with my siblings?
How can I forget you lifting me up almost everyday to place me on bed when I slept on the floor while studying?
How can I forget myself asking silly funny questions about the hair on your chest, about the chilly that you ate in curd, about the water that you mix in a peg?
How can I forget myself measuring your nostrils, checking on its shape, concluding that we both had similar ones?
How can I forget myself asking you crazily to pull your lungi onto your high tummy?
How can I forget myself sitting on the scooter holding your tummy tightly?
How can I forget how much preference you gave me, how much confidence you had on me in every aspect?
How can I forget that one Sunday in three months, waiting for you in the hostel to spend those few hours, to hold your hand, to eat with you?
How can I forget the long letter that I wrote to you on every Sunday from hostel?
How can I forget you using all the money in your pockets for our Sunday outing and getting scolded by mommy for not checking that you are left with exact ticket fare to get back home?
How can I forget you feeling insecure that someone would influence me when I was a teen?
How can I forget you arranging tuition for me at our home itself to make it safe and secure in spite of your financial difficulties?
How can I forget your patience, never scolded me, never shouted at me, never beat me for whatever mistakes I made, maybe small, big or huge?
How can I forget the princess life that I lived with you even though we were middle class?
How can I forget everything that you did for me in my 25 years, all that you could, with lots of love?
How can I forget the day when I saw you on the bed inside the ambulance?
How can I forget myself behaving angry with you for getting hurt in a road accident?
How can I forget myself being stupid for assuming that you will be OK very soon?
How can I forget your last words and your last touch when you kept your arms around my shoulder?
How can I forget your eyes when you stared at me, before you went into a coma?
How can I forget the day when I lost you?
Still repenting, did I know you won’t come back, I would have hugged you tightly, would have asked you what you wanted to express before you left me.
16 years passed by without you!! Yes, days passed!!
But only you know how many days and nights I cried in your memories.
Still I am !! Don't know when I will be free of this. But, don't want to.
When I can't forget you, Why can't you remind yourself? and,
Come to me, at least for an hour, I will never ask you again.
I knew you would not, But I will not stop asking for it. Till my last breath.
Now your’s 40 year old child….
                                                        Malathi

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